Your sitting in your room, door
locked, with a pen in your hand and a blank piece of paper in front of you.
Your hand is shaking, and the tears
begin again for the third time in the past hour….
‘To my family’ you write at the top of
the page, but decide it’s a bad way to begin your letter, your suicide letter.
You try again, start over again and again, but you don’t know where to begin -
No one understands you, no one knows what you’re going through, you’re alone or
at least that’s what you think, nobody would care if you’re alive or not, you
mean nothing to nobody.
It’s night, and you slip into bed.
’Goodbye’ you whisper into the darkness. And with that, you take your LAST
BREATH and END it all.
Ha ha.. no body cares, right??
Well you thought wrong. It’s a Tuesday
the following morning, and when it’s 6:00, YOUR MOTHER comes and knocks on your
door. She doesn't know you can’t hear her she doesn't know you’re gone. She
knocks a few more times, calling your name to open up. When there is no reply
from your side of the door, she opens it and screams. She collapses on the
ground while your dad rushes to your room, your siblings have already left for
college. Your very weak mother collects all the energy she’s got which is close
to nothing to walk over to your bed. She leans over your dead body, crying,
squeezing your hand, screaming. YOUR DAD is trying to stay strong, but the tears
escape his eyes, his hand on your mother’s back consoling her. Your mother
blames herself. All those times she had said ‘no’ to you, all those times she
had screamed at you, and sent you to your room over something stupid. Your
father will blame himself for not being there for you when you asked for help,
for being away from home at work for long.
Nobody cares, right?
7:40. There’s a knock on your
classroom door it’s the college principal. She looks more worried than ever.
She calls the teacher to the side, all the students worried that what’s going
on? The principle then later announces about your suicide.
The popular GIRL/BOY that always
called you fat and ugly is now blaming herself/himself. The GIRL/BOY that would
always copy your homework but treated you like crap, s/he’s blaming himself.
The dude that sits behind you, the one that always threw things at you during
class, they blame themselves too. The teacher is blaming herself for all those
times he’d scream at you for forgetting your homework, or not listening in
class. People are crying, screaming, shocked, in regret of what they did.
They’ll all be devastated, even the kids you've never talked to before.
Still nobody cares about you, right?
Your siblings get home. Your mother
has to tell them that you’re gone, forever. Your little sister, no matter how
many times she’s screamed at you, told you she hated you and stole your stuff,
always loved you, and saw you as her hero. She now starts to blame herself,
“why didn’t I do what she/he told me to do when she/he told me to? Why did I
take her stuff even when she/he asked me not to? This is all my fault.” Your
brother gets home, the boy that never cries. He’s now in his room, mad at
himself. He caused your death. All those times he’d played pranks on you. He’s
punching holes in his wall, turning over things, he doesn’t know how to deal
with the fact that you’re gone, forever.
Nobody cares about you, right? Right?
It has been over a month. The door to
your room has been closed all this time. Everything is different now. Your
brother has to be sent to anger management classes, your little sister cries
everyday still waiting for you to come back. Everyday she waits for you to come
back home. The popular girls have now turned anorexic. They don’t know how to
deal with the pain that they’re feeling. Your father has depression, your
mother hasn’t slept for nights, thinking it’s all her fault. She’s been crying
and screaming every night wishing for you to come back. The boy who would
always bother you dropped out of school.
The boy that copied your homework now
cuts.
But nobody cares about you, aren’t I
right?
Your mother finally decides to go
clean out your room. But she can’t do it. She’s locked herself in your room for
two days to try to clean up your clothes, your things. But she can’t she can’t
say goodbye to you, not yet, not now. Never.
Still think nobody cares about you?
Think again.
Even if people don’t show it, they
care about you, they love you.
If you kill yourself today or any
other day you won’t know just how much you meant to people. If you kill
yourself today, it stops your pain, but it pains all the ones who know you for
the rest of their life.
Suicide is the easy way out, but it’s
the wrong choice. Life is beautiful. Yes, it does have its ups and downs
everyone has their bad days... Sometimes people go through tough times in their
lives like you’re probably going through now but bad times come and go. You
might not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s there…
No matter how hard life gets, never
give up on yourself, or on your life.
Take a minute now, and think. If you
killed yourself, how would the people that love you feel/go through? Can’t
think of anything? Well I’ll tell you: tears, tears, and more tears.
Devastation, Guilt, Pain, Broken, Regret, Miserable..
If after reading this you still feel
suicidal, there are people that can help you. I’m here for you whenever you
need me, and I’ll be more than happy to listen to you and try to help you feel
better. There are teachers, parents, grandparents, neighbors, adults,
councilors, and many more.. They’re all there for you whenever you need them
...
Again I say "LIFE EZ BEAUTIFUL
...... LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST "
